Change is difficult.
- stop smoking,
- adapt to a new job,
- move in with someone new,
- start a new relationship,
- end an old relationship, and
- break into new shoes.
Change also comes in different forms;
- stays the same and
- gets worse.
We want the improvement kind.
Change can come with enjoyment and not-so-fun stuff such as frustration, confusion, and fear.
Learning to Drive a car brings forth all of these issues and more.
My job as your guide must face these changes with you, both the positive ones and the not-so-positive changes.
Additionally, to earn my money, we certainly want improvement; hence there is a bit of pressure on me to work to advance your performance. Or you could call it ‘PUSH.’
My dilemma is,
- How much to Push?
- How much change can someone handle?
- How rapidly do they want to change?
- Most importantly, how rapidly can you change?
And how do I handle crossing the line, standing at that Edge of Failure, and having it collapse, fail, and blow back on me?
I was raised with multiple learning difficulties and a family that refused to acknowledge all forms of failure or struggle. I learned the ‘PUSH‘ in its most extreme and cruel form. It also came with hugely derogatory words attempting to force one into success; simply buckle up and succeed, period.
One could say that learning only comes when you are uncomfortable. Many assert that discomfort is learning; hence comfort is not-learning.
discomfort is learning; hence comfort is not-learning
I believe this comfort is a continuum, and my job is to Listen for the Edge of Failure and get you close to it, and even cross it.
I talk of this because many clients encounter a certain point, pressure even; when their learning takes a pivotal change, you could call it an AHA moment. Most of us enjoy this when it’s a positive understanding or realization of a concept. However, often the change is not fun, surrounded with incredible frustration, especially while driving 2000 kg of steel, being watched by dozens of eyes at every move.
Anger can appear as you give the one-finger salute to the horn blast behind the slow-driving school car you’re in! Often followed with shame.
Our success is just around the corner if a new driver stays the course and pushes through the struggles. You never fail if you never give up. But some do give up, choose to blame and move to another learning environment. And I get left with the feeling of shame and failure.
The technical, logical, emotional, and social elements of teaching driving can all be learned when trying to assist others in facing this change.
But this journey is also an art as we both carefully Listen For The Edge of Failure.
Did you talk about any of this in your driving lesson?