Listening to a driving instruction is different than doing it.
Doing it, like you are an actor, at least looks right.
Doing it because you genuinely understand and believe it should be the goal. Understanding is deeper, longer-term learning.
“I am confident.”
Recently I have several clients say to me, “I feel confident. I feel confident.” When I worked in upper management, I often heard others say, “You act so confident.” When I lived in Asia, locals repeatedly stated, “You foreigners seem so confident.”
I see confidence as a skill that takes time to build-up to the real top-level I am confident. And with driving, this can be a difficult journey because we all tend to step into overconfident, which can be deadly. Acting confident in driving is a stepping stone to being confident and competent. Be careful here. It takes time and lots of experience, including close calls and fearful situations. I describe this as going over the top of the mountain and falling down the other side.
The goal should be competence, not confidence.
But let’s stay with first, building the confidence.
Yes, all the significant steps often start with walk the walk and talk the talk before you know what you are doing. Fake it until you make it. I recall one Business owner responding to me when they first offered me a top management position. “You are never ready. But that shouldn’t stop you from stepping up!”
Yes, I know I should be confident, but I am not.
Yes, I start to act confident even when I secretly don’t feel it.
And finally, I become confident and am confident, but this one takes a massive amount of work, and it’s not a destination. It’s a never-ending journey.
Watch what Tom Brady does to continue to be the top quarterback. He continually works extremely hard to hold that I-am-confident position.
Brady is competent.
My first over six-figure position was a massive stretch for me. I didn’t feel qualified; however, I agreed to take the job and the six figures. For the next 90 days, I spent 5 am to 11 pm every day, learning that position, and it worked.
I was finally competent at the new job.
I am confident comes from I am competent.
COMPETENT: having the capacity to function or develop in a particular way.
Come work hard and be a competent driver.
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