If driving fills you with intense anxiety, remember: those feelings can be as much of a safety risk as anything you encounter on the road. People often ask, “How can I learn to drive with anxiety?” My response? “You don’t.”
There are countless tips on staying calm behind the wheel—mantras, deep breathing, visualizations, route planning, and even choosing a car that feels like an extension of yourself. While these methods might prepare you or help you unwind after a drive, they often fail in the moment, when you’re facing anxiety head-on.
If driving feels like stepping into a raging fire, deep breathing alone won’t put out the flames. For some, the solution may lie in a different approach: maybe it’s time to step out of the fire.
Often, the anxiety begins well before you even get behind the wheel. Sometimes, it’s a habit formed over years, where the thought of driving triggers anxiety long before you reach the car. When this is the case, tackling this fear requires more than avoiding it—it involves gradually reprogramming your mind and body’s response to the trigger.
I work with people every month who face this challenge. Many of them have put driving off for years, only to find themselves motivated by an external reason: a job requirement, a family need, or even a new addition to their household. External motivation often provides that first push into discomfort. Some clients have even purchased a car as a financial commitment to drive. Goal-setting can be a powerful way to build a new, more positive relationship with driving. For some, the goal itself ignites the anxiety.
Many who move towards this new driving reframing take a long time to reprogram because it requires small steps and repetition. as you build positive I-can-drive experiences to counterbalance the years of not-so-positive thinking.
That said, my stance remains: you don’t drive with high anxiety. Let me clarify: to learn to drive in control, you must first learn to drive without intense anxiety to give yourself time focused on building the car control FIRST.
Take the first step to focus on the task, not the fear. I’ve guided many clients in transforming their relationship with driving, and you can do it too.
Reach out and say hi. Let’s start small, and let Cooper guide your first step forward.
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